2.21.2007

the anatomy of a freak 1


you ever question how? well, you could question many a thing, but i'm questioning how i became who i am today. or how they became who they are; brash, shy, ignorant, insane, etc. etc.

incredible is the transformation from childhood to adulthood..

the whole concept of sanity is one i highly dispute, because normalcy is a facade we wear everyday in an attempt to conform to society's standards. and standards are nothing to be reckoned with, as they vary widely and change from place to place. even within nations offer variances and cannot for sheer number remain constant.

but one constant you can always rely on is the imposed image of 'normal'. have you asked yourself what normal is? or is normal something hand-fed to us since our inception? i often discuss the topic in hopes that someone can give me a straight answer without saying something along the lines of 'whatever everyone else does' or 'not what you're doing.'

i've yet to meet one normal person. i've met plenty of boring people, and by golly they're as close to normal as i can think of, but not yet one that truly is. everyone has their quirks that cause them to stray and stay unique in the sense that it's unlikely there is someone else existing on this planet just like them. we're unique, but only in the loosest sense of the word, because we can be trained to respond as a group in the same way. how we dress, how we talk, how we approach situations, that can all be taught to be done a certain manner.

but our outward mechanics do not shed light on what's going on behind the eyes. for example; though we may have grown up in beverly hills and shudder at the site of a bum or someone not in a ferarri, we may indulge in licking the asshole of the gardener or getting spanked by a 5 dollar crackwhore. maybe we enjoy the thought of going camping and living in the wilderness without our wordly delights, or not bathing in a pool of evian, something a fashionista or executive mogul could never, ever do without.

those would drive your neighbors and co-workers to call you abnormal, i think in fear of being called abnormal themselves if they don't.

because in all likely hood, they too would enjoy getting spanked by the crackwhore whilst licking mexican cornholio.

but back to me! i attempt to blend in, not because of the fear of being run out by torches and daggers, but because i don't like to draw an inordinate amount of attention to myself. but if i had made my views and thoughts clear, would anyone have the courage to stand and say, 'ay, as i do enjoy fondling me girlfriend's buttocks after a nice bike ride, mate' or 'i would love to join you in a nudist colony, hieu.' most likely not, and to compound further the alienation i would have garnered, no one would talk to me for misery most absolutely loves company.

it isn't all about perverse pleasures though people. it too includes mannerisms and how we bring ourselves through the day. something like singing in the car at the top of your lungs will cause people to stare. maybe staring at yourself in the mirror will cause people to, hypocritically, call you vain, while they know damn well they'd do the same, but in the closet next to their dildos and guns.

so what am i getting at? that we're not so normal, and maybe the presence of those not seeming normal are just those bored with the old song and dance. and who can blame them? after all, people just love breaking out of their mundane work clothes.. and after all, isn't it the same idea?

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