Personal

I've been struggling with some things as of late. It's mostly been with the way I want to promote myself. Obviously, I want to do it loudly, but there's always the consideration that you have to be weary of what the potential clientele will say/think.

Really? Well, that makes me feel like a whore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really good enough or established enough to say "to hell with the clientele, if they don't like me or my art, then they can go fuck themselves." That's obviously the wrong approach, but surely there's a way I can radiate my personality without fear or worry I won't find work to pay my bills.

And then I get asked to change the name pretty often. 413U doesn't sit well with people, it's too vague, ambiguous. Once they find out its my name, they attempt to steer me towards something more catchy, easily remembered. Well, if my images don't do it, then a fucking name isn't going to get me very far.

AHHHH SHIET MANG

OFFICIAL. Yeah, that's me.

Been running around like a chicken with its head cut off as of late. This week is going to be vicious, but not as vicious as this:



THAT'S WHAT 22 STORIES LOOKS LIKE.

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Every bit of good news has been hiding that nasty trick under its trenchcoat since last night...

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

So I'm launching my website, and in case you didn't know about it, it's www.413u.com. I'm using a program called simpleviewer to organize the galleries for viewing online. I take painstaking time and effort to edit each photo, resizing and compressing for optimal viewing online with a good mix of size and image quality; the average photo is 200kb. Simpleviewer goes and increases the file size twofold after making the gallery.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

How the hell does the size of the file increase twofold WHILE DEGRADING IN QUALITY?????? Of course the image degradation is minimal, but the fact that the file size WENT UP while LOSING quality is totally blowing my mind.

'Hieu, so what? 200kb to 400kb ain't so bad.'

Really? It's not. We're all on broadband for the most part, and downloading 400kb of anything is pretty much an afterthought. However, when I take 3 days just resizing all of my fucking images and compressing each one to fall within the parameters I set, to then have it all thrown out the window by some illogical process that makes ZERO sense, then I'm steamed. Not only does it increase the size of the image, it also changes their naming convention, because apparently parenthesis' are outside the realm of being in acceptable file names.

This has added days to my work. Days I don't have, because of school, work, and personal obligations. Days spread out can mean a month. A month can mean people are still looking at the stupid splash screen saying they're looking at a 'work in progress, please excuse the vomit in the corner.'

Then I receive news that my GF and I wont tickets to the Muse show in Philly. She then tells me it's on the same day as the corporate gig I'm shooting... in the same time frame. I'm ready to punch someone in the face. I honestly can say that I'd rather never have heard the news of us winning tickets, because this corporate gig is so goddamn mandatory.

All of this within 8 hours. I'm a veritable explosion right now. I haven't felt this angry in a long time. I'm surprised my monitors are still intact. [sigh] I've done so well holding everything together, why does it feel like it's unraveling now?

HAHAHAHA

Oh man, life has been what?

WHAT HAS IT BEEN HIEU?!

It's been utterly amazing and fantastic, thank you.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

today was spectacular. SOOOOOOOOOOOO NICE.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO NICE.

did i mention it was nice? cause it was.

more to come later.

holy wow

i cannot believe it's been as long as it has since i last wrote here. but enough excuses, i need to write. i can't help but feel my ability to transcribe my thoughts on paper has done nothing but deteriorate since i was 16. yes, i was at my writing peak at 16. what a damn shame, i was a ridiculous writing talent, something to be truly dealt with.


but then the internet strolled in, i think. i mean, i got broadband, and ~BAM~. that smart pretentious hieu slowly dwindle to this mushy piece of meat that now sits in front of this computer. and when i say mushy, i also mean physically as well, my gut has expanded to gross proportions since i stopped swimming a couple of weeks ago.


but why am i here tonight? what did i want to write about? i don't know, but it may have something to do with the gobs of positive experiences [mixed with the bad, of course] through the past year. maybe those times i've been bottling up my fears and doubts and my excitement and moments of glory should have been recorded in my words, because it's all too beautiful to leave to chance that memory will always serve you.


and for my future self, i apologize. i've always selfishly put down my words when things got rough and didn't put enough stock into those shining moments that you'd swear wouldn't be possible to forget.. except you do. tsk tsk, bad human tendencies, bad! but that's ok, that's where i come in now to add commentary about the bountiful and copious amounts of joy you've encountered in your life. the wrongs have been righted, the hurtful feelings have been removed, and life was given an eraser to start anew. everyday.


everyday. everyday. everyday is a new day. everyday is a new day to create experiences for the moment to add to the collection in the back, but dude, don't dwell on those, keep it going. look back and say, 'hey, that was an awesome time.' but don't let that define you and make that who you are. they're an accumulation of events and stories that make up your personality and ideals, but don't let them pigeonhole you into this entity that exists solely to boost your present day happenings.


but if i can say so myself, i'm doing a much better job of living. clarity comes with each day and eachexperience, but i think only if it's recognize. chocolate on my shirt. totally worth it.

ohhhhhh man

check out the beta of my website!

anyhoo, school is kicking my ass.. so much so i had to step up to a foot to feel anything anymore.

yes yes

so.. had another wedding yesterday. even though it was shorter than the previous wedding by 3 hours, it was absolute insanity through and through.


so, here we go again!


CH-UGH 2! from hieu on Vimeo.

damn

i haven't been this worked since i worked at a restaurant a few years ago. weddings can be rough, but it's all apart of a honest [ehhh, might be dishonest if you hook up with the maid of honor] day's work.


ch-ugh from hieu on Vimeo.

so whose truth do you believe?

here's looking at you

i'm at a personal conflict, and i wonder;

do i steer myself towards a materialized existence?

or

do i attempt to shed myself of what society has already built in?

cause a a700 does look nice paired with a zeiss 85m 1.4..

things i learned about going to the junkyard

• get bug spray. mosquitos love fat piggies with high cholesterol [ahem]
• haggling is a part of life. low ball and don't accept offers for new parts
• they serious about the dogs. be aware, real fucking aware
• don't walk past where it says 'no customers past this point', as the dude that got tackled can attest to.
  

what the fuck have you done?

'bury her out back, along with the dog. i told him, 'piss on the rug one more time, you're fucking dead.' '

face the fear

and stomp the fucker out.

dear summer

suh-weet

i hope thanh doesn't throw his neck around like his dad and his uncle :/

socks

good dress socks are a necessity. the first 4 weddings i did, both socks ended up with big-toe-holes halfway through the event.. until i bought some of these bad boys.

perry ellis, thank you. you saved me countless dollars by surviving grueling weddings which require my go beyond far beyond the duties of standard photography.

last night at the omni hotel for example, the groom's sister was persistent about how cute i was, and repeatedly grabbed me by the arm, stated to those around that she's taking me to her room, and starts to dart off in the general direction of the elevator. so i take a break to get away from the drunk people and enjoy the surroundings of the omni..



i come back, and they're taking her away because she's so inebriated. she grabs my arm and asks if i can come with, but the groom says i have a job to do and it's inappropriate. out of now where, she states that she's going to give me a kiss, and plants one smack on the lips. awesome.

the rewards of a wedding photographer; holed up socks and drunken flirtation.

w00t motherfucking w00t

i like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. this is the night, what it does to you. i had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
_jack kerouac

story of my life. have a brew on me!



they say the best revenge is living well without them. if that were the truth, then god should strike me down for having the best revenge EVER. i've gone over the past destruction of my friendship with old chum brady, and recently, another has fallen, and it was even harder [the fall, not the emotional impact on my psyche XD].



why am i posting this for the world to see? because i feel like it. the faggotry in which i've endured all these years needs some sort of release short of slugging him in the face, and this just seems way too appropriate.

you see, this is not an attack at him per se, it's more of a reminder to be wary of the immense selfishness in which we're surrounded. for me, consider it lesson chalked down. i've implemented a rule that, if i were to encounter a being who is in this relationship for little more than their personal advancement at my expense, +ahem+, they can go fuck themselves. of course that's to be taken with some liberties and a grain of salt, as 99.9% of the relationships are selfish in 1 way or another, 'tis the overwhelming selfishness i'm looking to filter out of my life, the insignificant ones i'm more than happy to let go.

on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
_tyler durden

it's elementary, your time was up, feller, may life lead you where you deserve to go.

AND SO, another one bites the dust :D

♦♦watch your back♠♠

there's something unnerving about a person who wears colored contacts. like they're hiding something they don't want us to know, and whenever there's someone hiding, that means there's someone killing. yes, killing. killing the truth. murderous outrage at what yo momma gave you, and you rebel by altering your reality.

'my eyes are not blue, they're hazel!'

'my eyes were never black!'

'my pupils have always been fully dilated, is that so weird?'

and it's so utterly.. false. you're not fooling me, i can tell from across the room [where i was raping you.. with my eyes!] that those are colored contacts. that's like a step below wearing ugly fashion trends and a tumble down the eiffel tower below dying your hair.. about tied with plastic surgery. yes, that drastic.

i'm not trying to explain why i believe they do it, because i don't know and don't really care to. it just bugs me, here [points to penis].

[scratch me head]

my climb to 200 posts is staggering and taking longer than i imagined. considering i posted once a day for a month last year, you'd figure i'd be at 200 back in january. welp, things change, don't they? you get tied up, find new hobbies, make new friends, etc. etc.

lose your way. yeah, ahem, that's REAL easy to do.



that's my dad. the man found his way, and i think he's exasperated that i've yet to find mine. it's taking much longer than originally anticipated, and i think they knew something was wrong with me when i was a wee lad driving the car down the block at the age of 3. true story. but they look at my achievements [none] and don't see the love [lots]. the latter of which is so much more important, and i want them to know that if i don't pan out, at least they didn't raise a completely useless deadbeat, but one with love in his heart and.. well, a nice camera.

love so potent, i have an enlarged heart and might DIE at any given moment. not a true story, but it'd make for a really sappy 'carpe diem/live life to the fullest' movie like 'the bucket list'. make people aware that life is to be lived and without living it, you've got nothing. why anyone needs a movie to tell them that is beyond me, but maybe we've grown so complacent with life that instead of living with verve and spirit, we live with our heads and logic. saying the following is true and holds zero second thoughts:

youri, you drive me crazy. but i love you none the less.. though i hate you. love/hate at its finest.

i'm not lonely, just alone.

i want to talk to phung.


thoughts invoked by my heart.. true story.