zoom zoom

[blink]

life comes and goes

i was talking to my cousin, and she told me she wanted grandmom to be around for her wedding. i suppose it's sad when someone dies, but i don't know too much about that, i wasn't close to her..
but i know she was in pain after she broke her leg. i remember the car ride home, every swerve, every bump sent ripples of agony through her body. and after she got home.. i dunno, i wasn't around, but i heard her spirits were down. you know, after 83 years, you become tired.

and so, she left us. i don't feel sad, i feel glad for her, because she's done with the suffering. i smiled while in temple today, because we should really be feeling sad, not for those who have died, but for those of us who are still living.

she isn't suffering anymore.. but you can be damn sure that we certainly are.

puttin' in work, son

i'm on the grind

still got my money on my mind
and it
seems like i'm runnin' out of time
that's when i'm goin' on the grind

masta ace

you ever looked at someone's work, and blurt out how talented and skilled they were? some works are just absolutely incredible, right? and when you dig a little, you see it's been an interest in their lives since they were younger, and it blossomed out to something beautiful.

i want to be that. not so much for peoples admiration and praise [that's nice, too], but because i personally want to be something incredible..

and that's gonna take some work, son!

last time i did this-

-i was dressed at a chicken and had some dignity
_please_click_here

yeah, it's like that. i abhor relationships at this point in my life. can't see myself dealing with the games, the drama, the bullshit. and for what? the little bit of happiness you experience in the beginning? the connecting? the lovey-dubby bullshit?

sure, you may think the lack of action is talking, but i've been single long enough to realize the difference, and experienced enough up to this point to know what i'm working with. my ideals and my ideas just don't match up with the general public for the most part, and that creates tectonic shifts in the search for 'love'. hell, my friends don't even appeal to me as people anymore as i get on with the passing days.

[sigh]

i can't even talk to people about my thoughts i get them so lost.