HI! I'm asian, you are not. If you are, move on, I have this weird thing of you reminding me of my sisters, which essentially turns me softer than frozen yogurt in the summer heat. How i'm supposed to plug you with that, I haven't a clue.. and I'll probably be crying during the act.. actually, if you are asian.. whatever.
HI AGAIN! As I explained, I'm looking for anything not remotely related to the asian race [maybe]. You can be white, black, albino, inside-out, it doesn't matter, I'm not picky and extremely flexible, as I'm sure you'd have to be in order to reply to this self-deprecating excuse of a human being. That's not to say I'm not hot; I am, I'm probably the sexiest asian beast you could possibly lay your eyes upon, and why women don't hound me on a hourly basis is far beyond my boundless asian comprehension.
I'm asian, so that means I'm short. Yes, 5'7" is short, and by thinking you're 5'8" with shoes on is not being honest. If I can't be honest on a post without a face-to-face, how can you expect me to be honest when you ask where half of your worn panties went [and half of those are period-panties]? and don't think 5'7" is average either, that's taking into consideration midgets and those legless from the waist down. So, if you are black, I'm going to be about eye-level with your tits most the time. If it's cool with you, it's cool with me.
I'm also a bit chubby. OK OK, I'm fat, but I move extremely well for a fat person, which I can directly associate with being asian, having that ninja/kung-fu gene we're all blessed with. And while we are talking about inheritances, my family does consist of a pharmacist and entrepreneurs, and I'm the only one that does nails. I copped out, but can you really blame me? That means I'll buy you a bunch of nice things and it'll make you feel better about actually having sexual intercourse with me.
The last part is a requirement. 'Me so horny' is actually something i blurt out, another inheritance. You know what they say about guys with big hands, big feet, big ears, etc.. only I'm asian, which negates all of that and leaves me with something roughly the size of a pencil you knawed on in 4th grade until it got to the metal eraser clip. 'That's so cute!!!' and 'my little brother has one like that!!!1!' has been said to me on a normal basis. I'm not offended, really! But, to compensate for that, I have a John Holmes add-on that will remind you of your black-ex, and my tongue stomps like those boys from 'Stomp the Yard.' Driving you wild with it is not a question of 'if', but a matter of 'how many neighbors will you wake up?' Hey, I have to make up for it somehow.
I'm asian, so that means I'm a geek. Yes, I will probably want to look at tech stuff more than I want to spend time listening to how your ex cheated and gave you syphilis [which you gave to me cause you didn't want to get tested] and will make a computer program to give out the appropriate responses as I masturbate to the newest Canon 1D MarkIII being compared alongside the Nikon D2xs with inserts of a Macbook Pro, all while intermittently scratching myself cause you possibly gave me crabs.
So there you have it! If you think you can hang with this hot hunk of man-boy, shoot me an email and we'll discuss why you could possibly even consider this after the 1st sentence. Hope to eat you soon!
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