the anatomy of a freak 3

i'm not going to make up for lost time

I suppose most kids in the US grow up in a secure, happy environment. I was that kid for the most part growing up. When I was my young, plump self, I was indeed a happy kid running around with my friends and doing what kids do best.

I think back to those summers of my childhood and it reminds me of how simple life was, and how simple life should be.

But things got complicated. My parents, busy with p&h, didn’t have the time to raise me the way they raised my brother and sisters. I was a bully, getting into fights everyday, not doing homework, and being the opposite of my family; lazy and non-appreciative.

So at the end of the 4th grade year, my father and I went to visit old family friends in Tex. My parents had told me of a twin sister I had never known about, and off we went for a first time visit. It was exciting, getting on that plane and taking off. None of my peers at the time have traveled much outside of New York and the Jersey Shore, so for me to be setting off into the sky headed for Tex was a whole new adventure for me.

The family lived in the suburbs of Austin, 3 daughters and a son. The oldest was a mere 6 days older than me and all are book smart beyond their years, not to mention slim. Coming into their house, I was the opposite of the family in every way imaginable, the boy-devil who had come to consume them all with it’s evil.

I was tricked by my whole family into going down there. There was no twin, and the supposed 2 week trip turned out to be a 9 month exercise into shaping me to be more like the stereotypical Asian kid; ultra-smart, hardworking, and respectful. Look at me now, and ask; did it work?

The life lived in Tex was a complete one-80 from what I left in Philly. I had to study, do homework, do piano lessons, do extra-curricular math activities, and do a stuffy house-hold that allowed little personal growth. The kids are all cookie-cutter Asians. The parents, stern and extremely academically inclined.

It was a bad year. I was asked as a child to turn the reins at a moment’s notice. I’m not sure if anyone took into consideration my feelings on it all, or if maybe they thought for a moment that a child, though moldable, might have a difficult time being away from it’s family. Maybe they didn’t think that a carefree kid would have an overtly difficult time adjusting to a completely different set of standards and a whole new way of life. They expected results, and those results were expected right away.

I remember my brother and my mother visiting me a couple of months after the school year started. Their stay was without a doubt the greatest joy and the biggest heartbreak; seeing them, my flesh and blood, freed me from the family i was staying with, but when they left, I locked myself in the bathroom and balled my eyes out. I cried so hard and for so long, it had been about 5 years since I've cried in the same way when my mother and I left Vietnam.

But shit, I wish I knew what was coming after Tex, because living in Arizona with the younger sister was hell on the sun, and I don’t just mean temperature wise..