enjoy!

hello ladies and genteel men, welcome aboard flight 413u. if you're on your way to the land free of distortion, welcome; if not, you should probably go back to work.

now, some important safety information; please do not contact anyone you would not label family or friends, or anyone willing to bring you back down. this is very vital, because these slight distractions can really throw us off our flight pattern, causing the oxygen masks to deploy and we may have to have an emergency landing is some desolate place like boise.

please, unfasten your seatbelts, as they tend to cut off circulation and make you that much more uptight. to do this, pull on the metal tab and pull on the opposing strap. if you have children traveling with you, do this as well, and then place them in the overhead compartment.

we are equipped with one exit, which doesn't work. sorry.

our inflight movie will consist of sun, sand, surf, and some seaweed. unfortunately, to bring you this free movie, seaweed must be incorporated, but should you feel that it interferes too much with your relaxation, take a moment to take an oxygen mask and hurl the seaweed as far as humanly possible. preferably on someone who deserves it.

should we encounter some turbulence, that's just our pilots breaking up the clouds.

now, when we land, please do becareful with the overhead compartments, as the children probably would have kicked around all of your baggage. oh, wait, that's right, hopefully you left your baggage at home.

please, enjoy!