WAKE UP!!

[.. and drive?] haha, this isn't a car commercial. it's life, which to some, isn't as serious. but at some point, you have to wake past the slumber in which you've been possessed and realize that life isn't made to be wandered through in a murky haze.

so my words to me [and maybe you, whoever you may be] is this:

snap out of it. there is no ultimatum.

they say..

..smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

It’s a shame that grown men have reduced themselves to mere rubble over matters that hold no real importance in our day-to-day lives. A shame that something so inconsequential will be the divide of what appeared to be something truly magnificent in the story of our lives. A shame that the story can continue on without the people that surely fill its pages with memorable events and experiences, making for a life more full of joy and contentment. A damn shame.

Drama is the fabric that makes the story more interesting, but we can go on without this pitiable example of the word. The results were destructive, causing noble people to turn their backs and spew insidious remarks over mere miscommunication, misinterpretation, and with plenty of misspellings [goddamnit, Webster’s is online, can’t you look up a word?]. No single party is innocent, for this back stabbing and back talking has been prevalent since I’ve set foot back in this city.

Gentleman, this is unacceptable. I’m watching, right before my eyes, friendships crumble apart without a true cause that makes it redeemable. I’m watching immovable egos clash and a war of words take its toll over something so feeble I question why I attempt to keep the bond collected.

alone

walking down a darkened street, all alone, all your personal belongings in a bag you carry over your shoulder.. with no one to turn to. life can be so dark, making it feel as if you're truly alone in the world..

the lost soul in limbo.

what's there to do in a time like this? where do you run to? who's there to console you? who understands well enough to understand those who no one understands? these questions run through my mind, because the world can seem like a dark place fill with lonely people.

and it is. but, there's a light, isn't there? one piercing through the black, with infinite clarity and construction, right? the end all of distortion and confusion..

exists. but this is all metaphorical. this is all burrowed in our subconscious, not something that is truly tangible, that you can grab and hope to choke into submission. these are our inner demons. 

the amish have this uncanny ability to forgive. i may be ringing in a little late with this, but they forgave the man who had killed their children, without hesitation or a second thought. if he was still alive, you can bet he'd be more than devastated [if he wasn't already] by that act.

it's the act of forgiveness that people hardly seem to get. some act of aggression or hostility has to be met with the same amount for any reconciliation to be had. there's no forgive and forget, just deal out what you were dealt, and done story.

we can learn a thing or two from these people who haven't progressed in the field of technology, no?

[le sigh]

it's tragic, they say nothing good can last forever.

..

well, what about something great?

why..

..did i know this was going to come in handy?

[sidebar]

i was playing some football tonight. for some reason, every time a bunch of guys get together, the testosterone starts going, and better judgment is nowhere in sight.

anyway, i have smile on my face a lot. tonight during football happened to be no different.

and this guy has the nerve to ask, 'why are you smiling?'

muthafucka, let me ask you, why aren't you smiling?

people seem to have a permanent scowl on their face here in philly. it's probably true at most places, and for some people, it's understood; they're put under extenuating circumstances that get the better of their emotions, and hence, aren't anywhere near a state of glee.

but what the fuck is everyone else's excuse?

ARRRRR!!!!

set yourself free.. remember, 'sometimes you must slow down to go faster'. _ann mcgee cooper

welcome home

 

perspective

change it up

9pm

best,
you've got to be the best
you've got to change the world
and you use this chance to be heard
your time is now

don't,
let yourself down
don't let yourself go
your last chance has arrived
-muse

well..

*

here i am again. it's been a while, hasn't it? a little over a week, and let me tell you, i've been having withdrawals, damnit.

but seriously though, i miss brady and marci already. they provided me with something this past week that i've been missing out on since my relationship ended with my ex; some sort of companionship, and a dose of constant human interaction.

with a little bit of cleavage to wash it all down.

i'm off to bed now. alone.

*click the image, there does happen to be a touch of sun left in the shot.

4am

 

lazy days

being out of comission isn't very fun. as an example, i took a picture of lucky, my cat.

it's so exciting. believe me.

shit, did i forget the exclamation mark? nope, i did. good.

how i'll miss you

until you come again tomorrow.

i'll be waiting.

if it weren't for my bad luck..

..then i'd have no luck at all.

i think i'll take the no luck, thank you very much!

i'm almost there why should i care
my heart heart is hurting when i share
someone open up, let it show
_red hot chili peppers

i need to talk to someone.
but there's no one to talk to.
i want to open up to someone.
but there's no one to open up to.

what doesn't help the situation is.. i want to stay in san diego. but there's no one here for me to share with. share my stories, my feelings.. it's all superficial, nothing real, nothing cemented.

no one to call my friend. in a city with over a million people, i'm all alone.

an emotional low to say the least. god. damn. it.

[le sigh]

dearly beloved, where have you been?

oh, where was the drive gone? the desire, the impetus, the inspiration?

have you gone away altogether, and left me a desolate shell?

am i not able to get myself out of this proverbial hole without you?

so, am i stuck? am i to be left in this overfill of waste, pathetic waste?

where are you, dearly beloved, my saving grace? is it too much for me to ask?

is it too greedy to ask for a lift, a shove in the path.. a path that'll end in happiness?

can i not have my fix? a jolt is all that's needed, really.

to clear my head of the haze, the clouds are formed thick and impenetrable.

that's why i'm asking.. no, pleading. groveling. begging-

for something. save me from this personal hell, for i cannot do it-

not by myself..

you've captured my life.

now can you capture a miracle?

laugh

 

counting..

counting time is not so important as making time count!