face the fear

and stomp the fucker out.

dear summer

suh-weet

i hope thanh doesn't throw his neck around like his dad and his uncle :/

socks

good dress socks are a necessity. the first 4 weddings i did, both socks ended up with big-toe-holes halfway through the event.. until i bought some of these bad boys.

perry ellis, thank you. you saved me countless dollars by surviving grueling weddings which require my go beyond far beyond the duties of standard photography.

last night at the omni hotel for example, the groom's sister was persistent about how cute i was, and repeatedly grabbed me by the arm, stated to those around that she's taking me to her room, and starts to dart off in the general direction of the elevator. so i take a break to get away from the drunk people and enjoy the surroundings of the omni..



i come back, and they're taking her away because she's so inebriated. she grabs my arm and asks if i can come with, but the groom says i have a job to do and it's inappropriate. out of now where, she states that she's going to give me a kiss, and plants one smack on the lips. awesome.

the rewards of a wedding photographer; holed up socks and drunken flirtation.

w00t motherfucking w00t

i like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. this is the night, what it does to you. i had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
_jack kerouac

story of my life. have a brew on me!



they say the best revenge is living well without them. if that were the truth, then god should strike me down for having the best revenge EVER. i've gone over the past destruction of my friendship with old chum brady, and recently, another has fallen, and it was even harder [the fall, not the emotional impact on my psyche XD].



why am i posting this for the world to see? because i feel like it. the faggotry in which i've endured all these years needs some sort of release short of slugging him in the face, and this just seems way too appropriate.

you see, this is not an attack at him per se, it's more of a reminder to be wary of the immense selfishness in which we're surrounded. for me, consider it lesson chalked down. i've implemented a rule that, if i were to encounter a being who is in this relationship for little more than their personal advancement at my expense, +ahem+, they can go fuck themselves. of course that's to be taken with some liberties and a grain of salt, as 99.9% of the relationships are selfish in 1 way or another, 'tis the overwhelming selfishness i'm looking to filter out of my life, the insignificant ones i'm more than happy to let go.

on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
_tyler durden

it's elementary, your time was up, feller, may life lead you where you deserve to go.

AND SO, another one bites the dust :D

♦♦watch your back♠♠

there's something unnerving about a person who wears colored contacts. like they're hiding something they don't want us to know, and whenever there's someone hiding, that means there's someone killing. yes, killing. killing the truth. murderous outrage at what yo momma gave you, and you rebel by altering your reality.

'my eyes are not blue, they're hazel!'

'my eyes were never black!'

'my pupils have always been fully dilated, is that so weird?'

and it's so utterly.. false. you're not fooling me, i can tell from across the room [where i was raping you.. with my eyes!] that those are colored contacts. that's like a step below wearing ugly fashion trends and a tumble down the eiffel tower below dying your hair.. about tied with plastic surgery. yes, that drastic.

i'm not trying to explain why i believe they do it, because i don't know and don't really care to. it just bugs me, here [points to penis].

[scratch me head]

my climb to 200 posts is staggering and taking longer than i imagined. considering i posted once a day for a month last year, you'd figure i'd be at 200 back in january. welp, things change, don't they? you get tied up, find new hobbies, make new friends, etc. etc.

lose your way. yeah, ahem, that's REAL easy to do.



that's my dad. the man found his way, and i think he's exasperated that i've yet to find mine. it's taking much longer than originally anticipated, and i think they knew something was wrong with me when i was a wee lad driving the car down the block at the age of 3. true story. but they look at my achievements [none] and don't see the love [lots]. the latter of which is so much more important, and i want them to know that if i don't pan out, at least they didn't raise a completely useless deadbeat, but one with love in his heart and.. well, a nice camera.

love so potent, i have an enlarged heart and might DIE at any given moment. not a true story, but it'd make for a really sappy 'carpe diem/live life to the fullest' movie like 'the bucket list'. make people aware that life is to be lived and without living it, you've got nothing. why anyone needs a movie to tell them that is beyond me, but maybe we've grown so complacent with life that instead of living with verve and spirit, we live with our heads and logic. saying the following is true and holds zero second thoughts:

youri, you drive me crazy. but i love you none the less.. though i hate you. love/hate at its finest.

i'm not lonely, just alone.

i want to talk to phung.


thoughts invoked by my heart.. true story.

roflmao

when i said the one regret i had was getting you that game? i meant it. so stop being a cock fag.

in all honesty, you're not a good person. totally sober and clear of mind, and i've come to terms with it.

btw, my future wife:

cause there's no one to blame

i feel sorrow for the fear
and everything it brings
wonder if it will ever sleep

i know you understand
because you briefly look away
focusing on nothing
so now everything is clear

cause there's no one to blame
you got no place to hide
it's only in your mind

i saw you
in amazement
stumbling through the day
you told me time
never waits
what is that supposed to mean?

gun start callin dis 'videos from a.. video poser'?

Vietnam Preview from hieu on Vimeo.

click for the vid in HD [w00t]

i made her do it

and she liked it, yes she did.

so

my lack of attention towards my beloved blog doesn't have anything to do with the lack of love for said blog, but rather lack of motivation to write in the blog. that's a really stupid word, by the way, 'blog'. sounds like 'bog', which is a map in the game call of duty 4 [bestest game ever] and depicts some nasty sweltering dump of a marshy thing. like 'sex blog' sounds roughly as hot as an impaled penis on a stick.

unless you're into that sort of thing, then GET THE FUCK OUT.

now that we've removed the weirdo, i apologize to anyone to frequents this site on a semi-sorta-kinda-normal basis, as i've been in less need of therapy as of late and this was it. i picked up running, which i do a couple times a week. i mt. bike when it's warm. i play an ungodly amount of cod4, and it's made me forget about not having had a juicy vagina in over a year and a half to munch on. loser? meh, better to have a game run your life than an overtly hormonal and moody human, don't ya think? [just sometimes, hieu] school, and for once, i'm doing hw and the reading for the classes. i shock even myself.

so, life is swell. i could use a job, but it's not stupendously urgent. i'm not so much reaching for the stars at the moment, just the penthouse.

man..

i love you guys


and by love i mean skull fuck

love is what we need

love for a sunset. love for the sense of sight, sense to differentiate the different rays of visible light.

love for..

cali love

maybe i'm postponing my post on love..

or i'm disguising it within each post i write.

who knows?

hotel california

oh clueless :D

i'm waiting to find out myself, mate!

i'm afraid i have to postpone that post, i don't think i realized what i was writing at the time, because at one point, i was awake for about 48 hours straight, and it was very likely that was the point in which that was written.

but i can very well formulate my love for hotels at the moment. there's something very carnal about a place like hotels, something very fertile and sexy. prostitutes setup at hotels, secret rendezvous are carried out at hotels, manic sex is fulfilled at hotels and so forth.

a few years ago, my ex and i stayed at a hotel close to a racing event we were going to attend, and that whole night was nothing but sweet violent sex. we entered the hotel room kissing and within moments were on the bed having at each other. after we'd finish, we'd be back at it again and again and again.. that night was nothing but constant fucking, and it got to the point were cumming became physically painful and we just collapsed atop each other. well, not to be outdone, waking up in the middle of the night caught us both hungry for each other's privates and we'd have at it again. when we awoke in the morning, we'd have a round before breakfast and fondled each other on the way to the racetrack. my point is, that hotel allowed us to be so primal, it took our every wanton desire and let us go at it until our muscles cramped and our hormones screamed for moderation. my leg cramped a couple times, her neck was sore from a bobbing up and down, my tongue laid flat and lifeless along with my jaw, and countless other little injuries and ailments.

we stayed at another hotel the next day and the whole night was dedicated to the practice of the kama sutra. you'd swear our naughty bits were actually one and that we were some sort of weird siamese-non-relative-opposite-sex-twins we were fucking so much. i had her achilles imprinted on my collar bones and she had my teeth marks on her neck. we swapped so much fluid, a whole towel was dedicated to attempt to absorb it. then we had to call and get a another towel because we needed something to dry our bodies with after we got done fucking in the shower.

basically, the aura of hotels are undeniable. the fun to be had in them unmistakable. use the chance wisely, because back home, you have neighbors to consider.

what.. is.. love?

hieu will answer.

next week.

and you will accept hieu's opinion as fact.

or not.

hieu does not care what you do with his words.

as long as you don't contort them.

and if you do, hieu will be sad.

'tis the season to be jolly

[image unrelated]

the year is winding down, and in a few weeks, we move up a calendar number. 2007>2008. so what does it all mean? some people will scramble to see how this year went wrong and try to right it in 08. bullshit, i say. some people will claim this year a success and vow to keep it up in 08. bah, sure. some people will not care. hi! welcome to the world of realist! instead of counting your life in little increments, month to month, year to year, why isn't it all taken into a cumulative amount. i mean, if you're going to dig up the past year, why stop at 364 days? keep that counter going, bitch!

or why pick up this time to start a resolution? if you fail 2 months into it, are you going to wait another 10 months before you pick up your next failing? why not start right away? i hate the structure we live in sometimes. every few weeks, there's some sort of crap milestone or some redundant tradition we must participate in or be considered an outsider. easter. let's buy candy to celebrate the death/rebirth of jesus [doesn't that make him a zombie?]. christmas. throw our money away at gifts no one really wants and smiles and well wishes no one really cares for. valentines. well, no beef with valentines, i love the candy.

[^^ 'what? didn't you just rip on easter for candy?' yes, because it's irreverent to the death/rebirth of jesus. not to mention a fucking rabbit, what the hell does that have to do with anything? st. valentine was martyred for marrying couples that weren't allowed to be married, and martyrdom and candy goes hand in hand, duh]

anyway, i'm not trying to make any sort of counter-culture with my anti-holiday movement, because counter-culture then becomes the culture, and in turn needs a counter-culture to counter it, meaning like counter-counter-culture-counter. yeah, that makes plenty of sense. i'm just bitching because i'm seeing the miserable masses getting appeased by something as dumb and hollow as a little holiday with little to no meaning behind it. instead of finding happiness within themselves and those around them, they're forced to use this as a crutch. like prescribed medication to inhibit your moods and whatnot.

'never have someone as a priority when they have you as an option'

words to live by. consider it a lesson learned. you're not getting a thing out of me!

the subway diaries

so if i sold everything and went away

would you care?

if i disappeared without a trace without a word

would you search for me?

if i find love in the sea of hate

would you believe me?

if my heart shatters for you

would you respond?

if i died in the tragedy of life like you

would you console me?


[misunderstood?]

you ever wonder how many excuses you apply to your life at any given moment?

















because i'm fucking sick of it

le whores!

i <3 attention

psh. whatever, you only think i love your attention. it's a marvel to see what people are willing to do to capture it for an ADD-riddled moment. myspace is a prime example of how we suck as people. i have nothing new to add to the 'myspace sucks' argument, and i'll leave it at that.

but that's all it really is in essence, isn't it? a medium built for people to show off.. themselves. no redeeming qualities can really be found, just a lot of attention sluts one-upping each other in vying for your eyes. even when used as an advertising tool for the artists, it fails, because while it's a place for 'friends', it's really a place for 'memememememememe'. as a communication device it fails, because people are so caught up with themselves and their shit, messages and comments go unanswered

and the pictures. zomfgroflmao. i'm imagining the thought process of these shots.. and it scrambles my BRAIN. you'd think camera manufacturers would make it easy for people to understand the horrible, adverse effects of tungsten lighting, reflected surfaces, AND FOCUS. [end photo rant]

i can't go 5 minutes in life without having to run into ze undesirable people. school for example, contains an unholy amount of brown nosing hand raising asshats who must alwasy, ALWAYS show everyone else what they know. even common knowledge can't go unanswered, rhetorical questions get a lengthy explanation. it's like Capt. Obvious died and gave his legacy to everybody in the world, then Capt. Oblivious followed suit.

what happened to quiet, honorable dignity? to internal satisfaction?

i can't fucking compete-

and that's a good thing.